Something I've Noticed

For the past several months, I’ve been noticing a trend at our church that has my attention and should grab your attention as someone who cares about the health and welfare of our fellowship.  Our overall Sunday School attendance has been on a downswing for a while now.  Truly, I’m not one to sound unnecessary alarms and can be as patient as anyone while trying to diagnose the true underlying cause(s), but there’s really no good reason for a church with our resources and potential to have become such underachievers in this area. 

Several years ago, I asked a church going through similar issues the same question I am asking each of you to consider at this point:  “Is Sunday School worth our time and efforts to continue to invest in and support?”  I hope you realize that this is somewhat of a rhetorical question, but if you need a little nudging to realize Sunday School’s importance, here are a few areas in which our overall church’s ministry is impaired:

• We have few opportunities to build kingdom leaders.
  
• The development of soul winners is greatly reduced.
  
• We cannot be organized to win the lost (A healthy Sunday School, by the way, has been proven to be the most effective organized evangelism activities a church can have).
  
• There is a decreased level of assimilation of new members.
  
• We are not mobilized for ministry.
  

The list could continue, but I don’t want to belabor the issue.  Needless to say, if we are to live up to our potential in the kingdom of God, Sunday School should never take a back seat.  Here are some points to ponder as you think about and prepare for next Sunday:

• If you are a teacher, show up early and make sure you’re ready to begin at 9:45.  Nothing will kill a class quicker than a teacher who habitually shows up late or not at all.  And nothing is a more certain guarantee of a guest never returning than for them to show up for a class when there is no class.
  
• If you are a student, show up on time so that 1) the class can start on time, and 2) you aren’t an interruption for a class that has already begun.
  
• Be faithful to your class, pray for them regularly, and contact those who are absent.
  
• Invite a friend.
  
• Be as warm, friendly, and open to new people as possible.
  

Again, the list could continue further.  These are only a few short exhortations and a gentle reminder that Sunday School is among the most important things we do.  There’s an old saying that states, “As the Sunday School goes, so goes the church.”  I’m praying we can get back on track.

For This I Went to College?

If you would have told me when I was in college (which sadly, is over 10 years ago) that I would be getting a degree in Middle Grades Education and never use it professionally, I would have said you were crazy.  If you would have told me I would be married to a pastor (especially the one I'm married to) and a stay-at-home mom with 2 kids, I would have thought you were even crazier.  I probably would have said you were crazy even before Nathan was born and I finally realized how fun being a mom could be.

At any rate, here I am.  Learning every day that life is about the people in it and it's a process that has more twists and turns than any of us could imagine.

At church, I'm leading a Bible Study on Elizabeth George's A Woman After God's Own Heart.  Originally I helped pick the study, but someone else was supposed to be leading it.  I love Elizabeth George, but I'm guilty of often reading her books imagining that one day I can be the wife and mother described and then getting distracted by the things of the day rather than focusing on the woman I want to be for my family.

So today, I made some efforts that quite frankly are unlike me -- at least to all be done in one day.  I helped Nathan make cookies for his PaPa so he could deliver them at lunch time.  As requested by David, I added things to our family calendar so he could sync the computer and his iPod.  I made sure Nathan had picked up his toys and had the TV off when his daddy came home and dinner was ready to be served when David walked in the door.  Also when David walked in, the kids were both quiet -- which is saying quite a bit as much as Nathan talks and as Carleigh has taken to high pitched squealing often for no apparent reason.  The kids were even both asleep by 9 so David and I could watch TV together.  David couldn't have been happier about all of it, though he did admit that he hardly knew what to think.

Funny how your priorities and your definition of a successful day change.  Don't get my wrong, I wouldn't trade my college experience for anything.  But this isn't exactly what I had pictured when I was stressing over English Lit.  

Sometimes I think about what I'm missing out on as I see what my college friends are doing now -- doctors, Bank VPs, etc.  But I have to admit.  I wouldn't miss out on David and the kids for anything in the world.  I may not be changing the whole world, but I hope I'm making it a better place for the three of them every day.

Not Zero Anymore!

So . . . birthdays still seem to be a challenging thing for Nathan to grasp.  No matter what the birth certificate says, he declared today that it could not be Carleigh's real birthday because there was no cake.  (Hopefully that doesn't make me a bad mom since the cake is coming on Saturday -- a mere 3 days after the real day.)

Still, there was one thing of which he was confident.  She's not zero anymore!

It's amazing what all has been packed into her 12 months of being zero.   And even more amazing to think about what will be in the months ahead.

I wonder how many people often feel like big zeros.  I know I definitely have days when I look around and think that's about what I amount to.  Days when I get to the end and look around to see that I didn't manage to get the dishes washed, there are Cheerios scattered all over the kitchen floor, and so many other unfinished things that I wonder how we ever survived when I was working outside the home.  Days when I feel like I've lost patience with the kids much more often than I should have.  Days when I've taken David for granted.  And even more unfortunately I've taken God for granted.

So on this day when Carleigh is technically no longer zero, I will learn from her.  After all, being a zero is a great place to start learning and start being thankful for all the little things.  It's when you're in awe of everyone and everything.  When you laugh and squeal with delight without worrying that you're being too loud.  When it's OK to cry no matter who is watching.  When you put one foot in front of the other, take a few steps, fall down, and then get right back up and try again.  When people are by far more important than things.  And when you're always yourself because you don't know any other way to be.

I'm so glad God loves me and always sees the potential in zeros.

Are we there yet?

When we decided to head to Boone for the day today, it had been almost 4 months since our last visit.  For some reason we had not considered the number of times we would hear "Are we there yet?" from Nathan -- which was interspersed with his declaration that he didn't see Boone or the bulldozers or the big rocks that are currently a tell-tale sign of Boone's proximity.  As we drove into town, we were reminded of the things we miss about our first home -- from the double-decker Wendy's to the opening day of trout season (David misses that much more than I do).  Crazy as it may seem, we even miss the Boone Mall that by most people's standards could barely even be called a mall.

With all the visiting of friends who we love and miss, it was the ride back down the mountain that was most familiar.  I say that not because of the terrain between Boone and Lowell, but because of Nathan.  By this time, David and I should know better than to expect a quiet ride anywhere no matter how tired one or both kids may indicate they are.  One of our most memorable trips was a late night ride back to Boone when a 1 1/2 year old Nathan exclaimed, "Tractor say bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb" about 10 times a minute for 2 hours straight.  I am ever amazed by his ability to talk incessantly.  Anyone who wants to know how to pray without ceasing simply needs to be around Nathan for a long distance drive.  Tonight we heard that dinosaurs have tails and dragons have tails and the dragons on Dragon Tales are nice.  Why aren't we home yet?  I'm tired of riding.  Carleigh's crying.  She's going to make herself throw up.  Carleigh stopped crying.  Carleigh is tired and hungry.  Carleigh is tired.  Why is Carleigh tired?  Who lives in our old house now?  And on and on and on.  We really should keep a tape recorder with us at all times.

I take these moments to do two things.  Number 1.  I apologize to David because he married me without me warning him how I was as a child.  Nathan may look like his daddy, but he sure does act like his momma a lot of the time.  Number 2.  I treasure them in my heart.   I wonder if this is what it was like for Mary when it says in Scripture that she treasured things about Jesus in her heart.  I'm sure the day will come when we have teenagers and our backseat is quiet and we wish Nathan and Carleigh would share with us what is going on in their heads.  I hope David will always be able to say as he did tonight half-way down the mountain, "We sure do have fun, don't we!?"

So I will relish these trips and remember that much of the joy is in the journey and not simply the anticipated destination.  And I will be ever thankful that the Lord has given me my husband and children with whom to  journey.

But I Just Want You

I learn so much more from my kids than anyone else.  Like a couple of days ago when Nathan was growling his blessing to the point I almost didn't realize he was saying his blessing.  I told him he needed to pray so God could understand what he was saying and he quickly quipped, "God can understand me."  Of course he was right.  It was my grown-up self that was attempting to interfere in one of the truest conversations between a child and his God.  And a reminder that we all need to come to God as a little child without pretense or the delusion that God wants any more from us that what we are.  After all, it is the sacrifices of the heart that are most precious to God.

I received another reminder this evening at bedtime.   

When Nathan had been tucked in and we believed he was down for the night, David went back to the church to work on a few things.  A few minutes later, Nathan sauntered back to the living room and when I told him to go back to bed he said, "But I just want you mom."  How could I turn him down?  There was a time in the not-so-distant future when I wondered if I would ever here those words come out of his mouth.  In that moment, there is nothing that would have made me feel more loved than those simple words.

I wonder how often God longs to hear me say, "But I just want you."  I know it's way more than I actually say it; especially as I consider all the more trivial things on my own list of wants.  But I also think I'm learning how to love God more because being a parent teaches me about how God loves me.  His love for me never changes based on my actions of the day.  He loves me because I am His.  As much as I know God wants to hear me say that I just want Him, I know the reason He really wants to hear it is because He just wants me.

Starting Out

I think every day at our house starts with the words, "Where we goin' today?"  Sometimes Nathan doesn't even wait until morning to ask them -- he asks about tomorrow before it even gets here.  I know he gets it honest. 

It seems as we get older, though, we're much more hesitant to get moving.  I'm not sure why that is.  Maybe we just became quite the homebodies as a result of living in Boone.  Maybe it's because it seems like every time we leave the house we somehow end up spending money on something we don't need.  Or maybe we've sadly lost our sense of adventure and exchanged it for what we often deem as safety and the comfort of home.  Or maybe it's something entirely different.  Only God knows.  

Thankfully, we have Nathan to motivate us on the days when we find ourselves focusing selfishly on ourselves.  You don't have to be around us long to recognize that if Nathan's stir-crazy we're all going to be crazy in a very brief moment.

So, here I am in the stillness of midnight with both kids sleeping peacefully and myself wondering where we're goin' today.  I ought to be going to bed.  Instead, I find myself pondering.  Usually I keep my ponderings to myself figuring they're not that interesting.   But nevertheless, writing them down helps me process.  I also felt like I needed to do something to mark the day.  Today (or I guess it's yesterday now) was the 10 year anniversary of my mom's passing.  As I consider that, I sometimes feel stuck on that day -- hesitant to move on. Wondering how life would be different if she was still here -- if Nathan and Carleigh knew their grandmother, if I could pick up the phone and call her, if . . .  I miss her so much.  

In life, I do believe mom made her mark on everyone she met.  But I also know that in her death she taught me to value today.  To look for the little joys and know that today will never come around again.  To know that God indeed does cause all things to work together for good for them that love Him and are called according to His purposes (Rom. 8:28).  To walk by faith, not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7).  To revel in how great the love of God is that I should be called His child (I John 3:1).  To recognize that it is God who lifts me up out of the miry clay, setting my feet upon a rock and establishing my steps (Ps. 40:2).

So I will wake up in the morning and look out the window at the smooth blanket of snow and when Nathan asks me where we're goin' -- I'll tell Him we're going to make footprints.  After all, footprints are a sign that someone has been there and we need to make our mark in this big world.  Just like my mom.